


Obligations

by Pishposh86



Category: Stucky/WinterIron
Genre: Been Wanting To Do This, Don't Judge Me, Drama Drama Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Infidelity, Emotional Sex, Infidelity, M/M, My Brain Is On Overload, let's do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:02:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 17,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7994590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pishposh86/pseuds/Pishposh86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything that was said and done between Steve And Tony. The two have come to terms and finally put everything behind them. That was until Steve brought Bucky into the picture. Bringing Bucky to come live with him and the others in the Avengers tower. Tony feels betrayed by this and cannot handle the same man who was responsible for his parents death in the same room as him. Well that is until Bucky comes to him one night and bares his heart and soul to Tony. After that night...well let's just say Tony never saw this happening...EVER.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Can't Be Happening

**Author's Note:**

> Something I've been wanting to do for a long time. My mind was racing with this for like ever. And I thought why not. Let's do this.

"I know what I did is something unforgivable. If I could erase it all and change what happen I would...but I can't. But believe me when I tell you this Tony. I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul...I'm so so sorry. Whether you forgive me or not is your choice. I just want you to know how I feel"

Tony clenched his jaw. He didn't know whether to punch Bucky in the face or call one of his suits and blast him away.

Bucky hung his head in shame "I think I should just go"

Tony narrowed his eyes as he watched Bucky stand from the edge of Tony's bed. He looked broken. Like a scolded child who had been shamed for not being good enough.

It was then that for some reason Tony's mind went blank and the next thing he knew his hand reached out and grabbed Bucky's metal arm. Tony felt goosebumps form on his arm due to the coldness of Bucky's arm.

"Tony?"

Tony looked up at Bucky with tears in his eyes "I want to be mad at you. Just fucking livid...but I can't. What you did to me...to my parents. Well I should hate you to the core...but I can't. I just...I can't"

"I...I don't understand"

Tony stood from the edge of his bed and locked eyes with Bucky.

"Neither do I"

Then without another word spoke Tony caught Bucky's lips in a powerful kiss. Bucky's eyes shot wide open.

What the hell was happening right now?

*Let's Take It Back To The Start*

"I don't want him here. And I think you know why Rogers. You have some balls to even bring him here"

Steve sighed softly "Tony. He has nowhere else to go. He's my friend and I'm not letting him wander the streets. I can't do that to him. He's been there for me through everything and he's helped me out my entire life...I can't just abandon him"

"Do you not recall what he did to my parents. Or did you just forget that...then again you knew and never told me"

Steve inhaled a deep breath "Tony what happen with him and your parent's was not his fault. He wasn't in the right mind set. And I thought we agreed to let all that be put behind us"

"Why are we even discussing this? You're going to bring him here whether I say yes or not"

Steve didn't say a word. Tony was right. Whether he agreed or disagreed Bucky was not going to be alone somewhere of be roaming the streets when Steve was able to provide a place for him. He just couldn't do that to him. He couldn't live with himself if he did.

"Is he here?"

Steve didn't say a word and just nodded "Yes. He's in the living room"

Tony chuckled softly "I wish I could say I'm surprised"

"Look Tony I'm sorry but he's staying alright. Whether you agree to it or not"

"Then why are we still talking about this"

A pregnant pause came between the two.

"Then I think I should just go"

Tony didn't say another word and watched Steve turn his back to walk to the door.

"I'm letting you know this here and now. Keep him away from me. I will not be held responsible for anything that happens to him if he's left alone with me"

Steve glared "Threats aren't necessary Tony"

"Oh they aren't threats"

Steve clenched his jaw and walked out of Ton'y room. Tony waited few minuets and then walked out of his room and into the hall. Stopping where he was out of sight Tony watched as Steve walked up to Bucky who looked up at him with sad eyes.

"Don't worry Buck. Everything will be fine"

Tony huffed as he walked out of the hall and back into his room.

"This can't be happening"


	2. Sleepless Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Day Off Update

Tony shot up in bed after another wonderful nightmare. He hadn't had a decent night sleep in god knows how long...but then again he never really did even before any events of the past. Getting out of bed Tony made his way into the hall and into the darkness that was the kitchen. Walking straight to the fridge Tony opened it pulling out a carton of orange juice. Turning around flipping on the light above the sink Tony jumped out of his skin coming face to face with none other than Bucky sitting at the table with a glass of water before him.

"Jesus Christ. What the hell are doing in here?"

Bucky looked up with tired eyes "I couldn't sleep"

"Where's the old man?"

Bucky sighed softly "He's sleeping"

Tony cocked a brow "Surprised he's not down here with you seeing as you two are both practically joined at your geriatric hips"

"Steve doesn't always have to be with me if I have something to do. I am a grown man. As far as the geriatric hip comment I'm going to pretend I never heard it"

Tony shrugged "Do what you want"

"Why are you down here?"

Tony poured himself a glass of orange juice and took a quick sip. 

"Same reason you are"

Bucky sighed "Bad dream"

"Look I'm really not in the mood for casual conversation. It's too late and well honestly...never mind"

Bucky looked down and sighed sadly "It's fine. Look now that your're here...well I've been wanting to say something for a long time now"

"I honestly don't want to hear it"

Bucky frowned "You don't even know what I'm going to say"

Tony was about to open his mouth until his voice was heard softly breaking the two from their thoughts.

"Buck? What are you doing down here...come to bed"

Bucky eyes went from Steve to Tony. Giving a dejected sigh he got up from his seat and walked over to Steve. Steve gave him a comforting smile as he let Bucky walk in front of him as he followed behind Bucky. Before walking upstairs Steve gave Tony a questioning looking getting nothing but a shrug from Tony in response.

Tony set his glass of juice down and let out a deep breath. He knew what Bucky was about to talk about. And he just wasn't ready to hear it. To be quiet honest just him being in the kitchen with Tony moments ago took all his will power to not knock his teeth out. Alas that wouldn't change history and that wouldn't make Tony a better man because of it. This wasn't going to be easy. Not at all.

Steve shut the door behind him and walked up to Bucky who sat on the edge of the bed.

"Are you okay? Did he say anything to you?"

Bucky nodded "I'm fine. We were just talking. As far as him saying anything not much. He hates me and he has every right"

"He doesn't hate you Buck. It's just going to take some time to having you here that's all. Everyone else likes you"

Bucky chuckled "Steve you don't have to sugarcoat everything for me. I'm not a little and I'm not going to snap just because I don't like what I hear. I wish you stop acting like you have to walk on eggshells around me. I may be a different guy now that I was before...but don't treat me like a child"

Letting out a deep breath Steve took Bucky's hands in his. Lacing them together he relished in the feeling of the coolness of Bucky's metal hand. Lifting it slowly he brought the hand to his lips and kissed Bucky's metal fingertips.

"I'm sorry Buck. I just don't want to see you hurt anymore. You know how much you mean to me"

Bucky looked into Steve's blue eyes as he felt his cheeks flush "Steve...I..."

Without saying another word Steve kissed Bucky deeply. Bucky gasped into the kiss as Steve pulled him flush against him. For some reason Bucky felt like his skin was on fire feeling Steve's hand roaming his body possessively.

Sure when they were younger before any damn serum they had shared a kiss before. Bucky could recall it was after Steve once again tried to stand and fight against someone he knew he couldn't beat...then again that never stopped him.

*Flashback*

Bucky remembered bringing a soft cloth to Steve's lower bloody lip as Steve hissed in pain at the feeling.

"I had him on the ropes Bucky. You don't always have to protect me"

Bucky rolled his eyes "Sure you did. That's why you're sitting here in front of me with a black eye and a busted lip"

Steve sighed sadly upon hearing Bucky's comment.

"I admire the bravery though. You're a tough kid"

Steve smiled softly his lower lip now clean. Looking into his eyes Bucky felt like he had to protect Steve forever. Like he had to be the one to save and protect him from all the evil in this world. 

Cupping his face gently Bucky leaned in slowly capturing Steve's lip in a sweet kiss. Smiling as soon as he saw Steve's shut his eyes while they kissed. 

He vowed to protect him forever. Right then and there he knew Steve would never know pain as long as he was around.

*End Flashback*

Bucky let his eyes slide close feeling Steve's kisses on his neck as he thrust into him slowly and deeply. It had been a long time since Bucky had felt a touch like this. It felt nice. It felt long overdue. 

"I love you Buck...ohh god I love you" Steve whispered in Bucky's ear 

Bucky shut his eyes as his wrapped his legs tighter around Steve's narrow waist feeling his orgasm approaching him like a freight train. Fuck this felt fucking phenomenal.

Clutching onto Steve for dear life Bucky choked back a loud groan as he came undone underneath Steve. Steve soon followed after coming deep inside Bucky collapsing atop of Bucky. Steve was a bit heavy but not one to complain Bucky let Steve rest atop him as he tried to catch his breath.

Bucky watched as Steve slept and tried his best to keep his mind from racing. But even after some great sex his mind was still at it. And the only thing on his mind was Tony. 

He had to apologize to Tony no matter what. He'd never be able to move on if he didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Be gentle with me*


	3. Well That Escalated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before bed update :))

Bucky awoke to the sound of light breathing beside him. Opening his eyes slowly to scan the room his eyes landed on Steve's sleeping form. It took him a while to register he no longer was alone in some small apartment hidden away from the world. He was with Steve and in a rather nice place. It felt nice and strange all at once. Sitting up in bed Bucky rubbed his eyes and stretched out his rested body.

"Good morning. Did you sleep alright?"

Bucky looked over his shoulder with a soft smile.

"I did. Thank you for last night"

Steve blushed "Welcome. But I meant every word I say last night Bucky"

"I know"

Steve got out of bed and slid on a pair of sweatpants "Listen. What happen between you and Tony before I walked in"

"Nothing. Like I said we just talked. Well he talked I just sat there. Steve...I need to apologize to him. I just can't...I can't move on the way I want to if I don't tell him about how sorry I am"

Steve exhaled a deep breath "Maybe some things are better left unsaid"

"Yeah. But you don't have to live with something like what I did. The blood is on my hands not yours. You couldn't possibly understand"

Steve watched as Bucky hung his head in shame. Walking over to him slowly Steve kneeled before him and cupped his face in his hands.

"But that wasn't you Buck. You had no control over what you did"

Bucky smiled sadly "If was me. Whether or not I was in the right mindset...doesn't matter. I still did it"

Steve didn't say a word as Bucky stood up from the bed and walked into the bathroom shutting the door behind him. Steve was about to make his way towards the bathroom until he heard a knock on his door.

"Just a sec" 

With that Steve made his way to his bedroom door to open it and find Natasha on the other side.

"Breakfast is downstairs"

Steve nodded "Thanks"

"Umm is this a bad time?"

"No. I'm just waiting on Bucky and I'll be right down"

Natasha nodded as she turned his back to walk away until she stopped in her steps.

"Hey word of advice Steve"

Steve perked up "Yeah?"

"Next time you and Bucky decide to you know...it would be nice if you don't let everyone else know. Well not everyone...just me who's bedroom is right next door to yours"

Steve blushed "Thanks"

Natasha smirked as she walked away and downstairs.

After some comforting and a few sweet words Bucky finally caved and followed Steve downstairs for breakfast. 

After a nice and somewhat awkward breakfast Steve and Bucky hit the gym. It was much needed for Bucky to try and at least clear his mind. Every after what happen between his and Steve last night he still couldn't stop thinking about Tony and his parents.

"Come on how bout a round. You know just like old times"

Bucky looked over his shoulder to see Steve inside the gym ring with boxing gloves. 

"I don't think so"

Steve smirked "What afraid you might get beat?"

"May I remind you that I tough you everything you know. And I had to take it easy on you back then"

Steve cocked a brow "That was then. This is now...Barnes"

Bucky gave a defiant look as he walked over to the ring and grabbed the nearest pair of gloves nearby and stepped into the ring. 

"You sure about this?"

Steve nodded "It'll be fun. And besides you don't have to take it easy on me like before"

"If that's what you want"

*Some Time Later*

"You ready to give up?"

Steve nodded "No way. I could do this all day"

"You know sometimes that's not always for the best"

Steve and Bucky were about to square off until they heard a voice.

"Mind if I give it a shot?"

They both turned to find Tony standing there in sweatpants, tank top and hoodie.

"Why not. I think I need a break anyway"

Steve stayed in the ring as Bucky began to remove his gloves.

"No. Not with him...with you"

Bucky's eyes gave a nervous glance towards Steve.

"I...I don't think that's a good idea. Besides...Steve is still wearing his gloves and ready to go"

Tony glared "I don't care. Besides...who needs gloves"

Bucky felt his heart racing. He couldn't do this. He wouldn't...it just didn't seem right.

"Buck it's fine. I'm sure Tony is just looking to have a little spar...right?"

Tony smirked "Oh yeah. Just a little practice. And who better to practice with than a former cold blooded soviet assassin"

"Tony"

Tony raised his hands up "It's not like I didn't hit the nail on the head with what I just said"

Steve stepped out of the ring and gave Bucky one last reassuring look as Tony walked past Steve and into the ring. Neither one wearing any gloves. Tony with both hands only taped up. Steve had a strange feeling about this and quickly texted for Natasha to join him in the gym. 

"I...I really don't think we should do this"

Tony ignored Bucky's request and walked right up to him.

"I don't care what you think. Now raise your hands and fight me"

Bucky did as he was told and raised his hands slowly. He didn't want to do this. But Tony wasn't giving him another choice.

Throwing the first punch Bucky dodged it without a second thought. Narrowing his eyes Tony threw another the second one connecting and hitting him in the jaw. It was then that it clicked Tony wasn't looking to spar...Tony was looking to fight.

Before Bucky knew it Tony had him cornered in the ring throwing punch after punch. Only Tony was growing upset due to Bucky refusing to fight back.

"Throw a punch Barnes. Don't hold back...let's do this"

Natasha walked in just in time to hear Tony's request.

"Is he really doing this right now?"

Steve looked over to Nat "Yep. But I think Buck can handle it"

And just as those words left Steve mouth Bucky threw a punch to defend himself and knocked Tony on his ass in the middle of the ring.

Bucky let his arms rest on his sides "I'm sorry. I'm not doing this with you"

"Pick up your hands you son of a bitch"

Bucky glared "No"

"DAMN IT BARNES DO IT"

Steve and Nat jumped hearing Tony's yell echo in the gym.

"No. I'm not going to fight you"

Tony scoffed "But yet you can kill two defenseless people like if it came natural to you"

Steve and Natasha's mouth dropped open at that comment and waited in fear for Bucky's reply.

Bucky turned and made his way out of the ring. Without saying a word to Nat or Steve he walked out of the gym letting the door slam shut behind him.

"Damn it Tony" Nat groaned out following behind Bucky

"He should have just fought me"

Steve gave an exasperated sigh as he turned his back to walk out of the gym

"Whatever you say Tony. Whatever you say"


	4. Where The Fault Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating now since I'll be working all day today *wah*
> 
> *Might be a bit short had to get ready for work*

Tony rushed out of the gym and caught up to Steve grabbing him by his forearm.

"I told you what would happen if you brought him here. I warned you that if he crossed my way I wouldn't be held responsible for what happened"

Steve glared "He was minding his own business Tony. You kept egging him on. What he did was to defend himself from your anger"

"So the fault lies with me. Are you kidding me? You brought him here knowing how I felt about it and I let you both stay even after everything. I own this place...to be quiet honest I should have left you both out on the streets"

Steve cocked a brow "If that's what you want that's fine"

With that Steve pulled his arm out of Tony's grasp and walked away without saying another word.

*Meanwhile*

Natasha walked upstairs and knocked on Steve's door. She waited for a reply but got nothing. Opening the door Nat looked around but no sign of Barnes. It was then that she looked over to the window to find that it was open. 

Smirking she knew exactly where he was. Only she knew an easier way to get there.

Looking over all of the city life Bucky sighed sadly as he sat atop of the tower and enjoyed the quietness. He knew that if he just stayed in that room Steve would try to just coddle him and he didn't really want that. He just wanted to be left alone.

"I'd knew this was were you would be"

Bucky looked over his shoulder and sighed "Should've of known you of all people would be the one to find me. Better you than Steve I suppose"

"Well that's a first. Picking someone else over Steve"

Bucky chuckled "Because I know that all Steve would try to do would try and make me feel better by sugarcoating the truth. I'm no saint I know what I've done. I'm not in denial but Steve is"

"Because he cares about you. He knows the real you"

Bucky frowned "It doesn't matter. Look what happen in there with me and Tony...I could have fought back, I just couldn't. For all I care he deserves to be livid with me. If he wants to beat the crap out of me then so be it"

"It still doesn't make it right. Have you...I don't know talking to him"

"I did. Well tried to before he cut me off. I couldn't sleep one night and neither could he so we both found ourselves downstairs. Well anyway I tried to attempt to talk to him but he told me he didn't want to hear it"

"Well try again. Look what you did is horrible...but if he hears it come from you. Well maybe it will make all the difference"

Bucky sighed "I don't know. But doesn't hurt to try I suppose"

After their talk Bucky and Nat made their way inside the tower and were immediately met with Steve. His face read nothing but worry.

"Where were you? I was looking everywhere for you"

Bucky smiled softly "I just needed to get away for a while. I'm fine Steve"

"Look about what happen with Tony. And what he said I..."

Bucky raised his hand "Don't. Look it's fine. I mean he has every right"

Steve sighed "He's upset Buck. He pretty much told me he doesn't want us here"

"No. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me here. Look I'm happy and grateful that you tried to help me out. But maybe me staying here isn't in everyone's best interest"

Steve frowned "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe I should just find another place to stay. If I stay here I know if will drive Tony crazy. After what I've done...I can't blame him"

Steve sighed sadly "Well then I'm going with you"

"No you're not. They need you here. And besides I'll be fine. You don't have to take care of me all the time Steve"

Steve was about to open his mouth to protest but Bucky stopped him before he could even utter a word

"This is for this best. Trust me okay"

Steve gave a defeated sigh "Alright. I trust you"


	5. Least You Could Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fresh out of work update super tired but had to before bed time.

"Don't give me that look. You of all people should understand"

Nat sighed softly "He's trying Tony. Barnes knows what he did wrong. The least you could do is hear him out at least. He truly is sorry for everything. Yes what he did was horrible but you have to remember he was..."

"Don't. Don't you dare say it. It doesn't matter brainwashed or not...he still did it. I don't know why everyone is defending him like he is a goddamn saint. Rogers and now you. Who's next?"

Nat shrugged "It doesn't matter anymore anyway. He's leaving asap"

"Who's leaving?"

"Barnes"

Tony gave a surprised look "Barnes is leaving?"

"Don't act so surprised Tony. After all you didn't want him here in the first place"

Tony smirked "You should know that guilt tripping doesn't work on me Nat"

"Whatever you say Tony. Whatever helps you sleep at night"

*The Next Day*

"I wish you would let me talk to Tony. I can try to get him to hear you out. Then maybe you wouldn't have to be staying here"

Bucky smiled softly "It's fine. And this place isn't so bad. It's nice and besides I'm used to being alone"

"Buck. I'd rather have you with me. At least I know you are safe and I can take care of you"

Bucky shook his head "Steve what have I told you. I'm not a child. I can take care of myself. Did it for a long time before you found me. And like I said...until Tony himself tells me that I'm welcome back...then I'll go back. But since I really don't see that happening I'm staying here"

Steve did't say another word. What could he say? He knew Bucky was trying to stay strong and not let the hurt show. He knew that Bucky just wanted a normal life...but until Tony would give him the chance to talk it was like he was stuck in the past.

Steve took Bucky's face in his hands and sighed sadly "I wish I could change the past. I wish...I wish I would have gone to find you sooner"

"It's not your fault. The past happen...we just have to come to terms with it"

The two locked eyes. Steve's eyes read heartbreak and years of regret of feeling like he let the only person in the world who mattered to him down. While Bucky's read exhaustion and years of sadness.

Pulling Bucky flush against him Steve caught Bucky's lips in a powerful kiss. Bucky moaned into the kiss as he let his arms lace around Steve's neck slowly.

"Let me take care of you just this one last night before I go"

Bucky smiled weakly as he nodded and followed behind Steve to the bedroom.

*Hours Later*

Steve walked into the darkness of the kitchen and flipped on the light. Feeling like his heart just fell from his ass Steve clutched at his chest.

"Jesus Tony. What the hell?"

Tony kept an unamused expression "Isn't in past your curfew Captain"

"Are you always this sarcastic this late at night?"

Tony smirked "Is that even a question that needs an answer?"

"Whatever Tony. I'm going to bed"

"How's Barnes?"

Steve stopped in his tracks "Like you care Tony"

"I don't...but my curiosity always gets the best of me sometimes"

Steve clenched his fists in anger and turned to face Tony.

"I don't understand you. Do you get some strange self gratification out of kicking people while they are down?"

Tony scoffed "I don't know. Possibly"

"He's miserable Tony. He knows what he did wrong. Not just on that night...but every night since then and before. He wants to make things right and apologize...only you don't let him"

Tony glared "And I don't have to"

"You forgave me for knowing. You gave me that chance to explain. You did it because I know you are a good person. So is he...he wasn't always a cold blooded killer. He was and always will be a very important person in my life. And damn it Tony so are you...I just wish you could put your ego aside for two minuets and hear him out"

Tony narrowed his eyes and stood from his seat "This conversation is over"

Steve watched as Tony began to walk away. He hated this...he just wished this could all be put behind them. He just wanted everyone to just move the fuck on.


	6. Worth A Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my day off updates :)

Tony sat in his dimly lit office. It was another sleepless night. After everything that him and Steve talked about...or more like argued he couldn't keep his mind from racing. Looking down before him his eyes scanned the image before him. Before him an image of Steve and Bucky from old times. He knew his father must have had one somewhere and of course he was never wrong. 

Steve all smiles standing proudly beside Bucky who was in his full howling commando uniform. While Bucky looked straight at Steve in wonder and amazement that the person actually standing beside him was his friend. The once sickly and frail Steve Rogers was no longer and now Captain America beside him. Only Bucky never saw Steve that way. He would always just be Steve from Brooklyn . Just how Steve didn't see the winter soldier...he saw Bucky. His best friend since childhood.

"Son of a bitch. I'm getting sentimental" Tony groaned out opening his desk and shoving the picture inside of it.

Running his fingers through his hair Tony let out a deep breath. He couldn't keep doing this. It was fucking exhausting. His parents were gone and they weren't coming back. He had come to terms with that. What he couldn't get past was how they died...but at the same time if he never moved on this part of his life it would consume him. He had to at least try. It's what his parents would have wanted.

*Few Days Later*

Tony walked into the gym to find Steve unloading like usually into a punching bag. With a roll of his eyes he began his walk towards Steve.

"You better not wreck that one. I mean it's not like you are paying for the replacements"

Steve stopped and let his arms fall to his side. Keeping his his back facing Tony he spoke

"What do you want Tony?"

Tony cleared his throat "Well first off you can at least face me"

Steve let out an exhausted sigh and turned around.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore Tony"

"Neither do I. Look...I did some thinking over these past few day and I think. I think I need to have a talk with Barnes"

Steve's eyes grew wide "What?"

"You heard me. You told me to hear him out and I will. But I'm not doing it for you or anyone else for that matter. I'm doing it for me and my parents"

Steve nodded "I'll let him know"

"You do that. Well yeah I'll let you go to unleashing on the punching bag. And like I said don't mess it up"

Steve watched as Tony walked away and out of the gym. 

*The Next Day*

"So he actually wants to hear me out?"

Steve sat next to Bucky on the edge of the bed and nodded "Yeah. He does. I have to admit I never saw that coming"

"Well neither did I. I mean he can't really be blamed if he never wanted to hear me out. I can't hold that against him after what I've done"

Steve took Bucky's hand in his "Well now you have your chance. I'll come pick you up tomorrow and well you and Tony can talk it out. Hopefully talking is all you do"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Steve chuckled softly "Well I mean nothing drastic happens between you two"

"Steve nothing will happen. I don't do that anymore...remember"

"I know"

Bucky smiled softly as Steve placed a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"Everything will be fine"

Bucky didn't say a word and just nodded

"I hope so. I really hope so"


	7. According To Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Day Off Update. It's so dark and gloomy outside...ugh it's beautiful and perfect story weather :))

"Are you ready?"

Bucky inhaled a deep breath. He'd never been so nervous and afraid in his life. No amount of Soviet training or anything he'd ever experienced prepared him for this moment.

"I'm ready. I have to do this"

Steve nodded and gave a reassuring smile "Well I'll let him know that you are here"

"Alright"

Steve walked upstairs towards Tony's office as Bucky stayed seated on the couch waiting for Steve's return.

*Meanwhile*

Tony sighed softly as he began to file away some paperwork he was working on earlier. He was beyond exhausted due to lack of sleep. 

"I feel like if I lay in bed I'll slip into a coma"

Tony yawned and stretched out his arms. He was about to make a phone call until he heard a knock on the door. 

"Come in"

The knob turned and Steve walked in. Tony perked up and sat up in his seat.

"Tony"

"Rogers"

Steve shut the door behind him and walked up to Tony's desk "Umm you have a second?"

"Got more than just a second"

Steve smiled softly "Umm Buck is downstairs. He's waiting to talk to you know that you agreed to hear him out"

"Is he now? That's fine. You can send him up"

Steve nodded and quickly stepped out of Tony's office and back downstairs to were Bucky was still seated. 

"What did he say?"

Steve ran his fingers through his blonde hair "He wants to see you in his office. If that's okay with you"

Bucky nodded "That's fine. Look you should stay here. I really need to do this alone alright"

"Bucky...I don't...."

Bucky placed his arm on Steve's shoulder "It'll be fine. Just relax"

Steve gave a nervous expression as he watched Bucky make his way upstairs and out of Steve's sight. Steve let out a deep shaky breath. God he hoped nothing would go wrong.

Inhaling a deep breath Bucky placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. Walking into the office Bucky was met with Tony sitting in his office chair facing towards the office view.

Bucky's mind was racing "Say something you idiot"

God he was choking. How do you start a conversation like this?

"I feel like I could read your thoughts from over here" 

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat as he let out a shaky breath "I'm not very good at hiding them I suppose"

"We can't all be perfect at everything. Well I can...but yeah"

Bucky rolled his eyes as the voice in his head spoke "Cocky much?"

Tony turned in his chair and locked eyes immediately with Bucky. 

"Where the old ball and chain?"

Bucky gave a confused expression and that's when it clicked. Of course he was talking about Steve.

"I told him to stay downstairs. He doesn't always have to be by my side...I recall telling you that"

Tony shrugged "Hmm"

"Look Steve said that you agreed to hear me out and talk to me. I want you to know that means alot to me Tony. I've been wanting to talk to you about that night for a long time now"

Tony crossed his arms and raised his hand to motion for Bucky to continue.

"Well...I...God I don't know how to do this. You know every since Steve found and I began to remember...I promised myself that I would apologize to you from the moment I saw you. Guess that didn't go according to plan after everything that happen. I'm sorry for that"

Tony shut his eyes as Bucky continued to speak. Upon shutting his eyes the only thing he saw was the footage of his father begging for his help and his mother calling out to him. The look on Bucky's face when his father spoke.

"Sargent Barnes"

It was then that Tony opened his eyes and shot up in his chair making Bucky stop talking immediately.

"Tony?"

Tony could feel his heart racing. He could feel the anger but he tried his best to control it. He looked over at Bucky who looked so tired and broken and for some strange reason his heart went out to him. This was eating away at him just like it was for Tony. They were both struggling to let go of the past and move on.

"I think...I think now is not a good time"

Bucky nodded and hung his head "Okay...that's fine"

"I think you should go now"

Bucky gave a dejected sigh and without saying another word walked out of Tony's office. He wasn't going to argue and he wasn't going to beg. He was to tired to do either.

Steve heard footsteps coming down the stairs and waited anxiously to see who it was. It was Bucky looking beyond heartbroken.

"Bucky"

Bucky ignored Steve and walked right past him

"Buck...wait" Steve called out once again catching Bucky by his metal arm

Bucky turned to face Steve with a stern glare "Let me go"

"What happen?"

"Nothing. Nothing happen"

Steve raised a brow "Then why are you so upset"

"I'm not"

"Could have fooled me"

Bucky pulled his arm out of Steve's grip "I want to go home. This...This was a mistake"

"Look let me talk to him"

"NO! I don't need you to help me. I need you to just take me home"

Steve nodded "Alright. I'll take you home Buck"

With that Bucky turned and walked away from Steve and out of the building.

"Well guess that went well"


	8. When The Emotions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cheshire Smirking*

Steve and Bucky sat in the silence during the drive back to Bucky's place. Steve looked over towards Bucky and sighed sadly. He looked so defeated and upset. He asked him once more when the were getting in the car what happen ,but Bucky ignored his question as he looked out the passenger window.

"I'm sorry Bucky....but I can't see you like this anymore"

Bucky looked up at Steve in confusion. Then that confusion turned into shock when Steve took a sharp u-turn and began his drive back to the tower.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you out of your damn mind" Bucky exclaimed clutching onto the sides of his seat tightly

"I just might be"

*A while later*

"I told you to just leave it alone. Why can't you just fucking listen?"

Steve all but dragged Bucky into the tower behind him. Bucky was fuming his hair in his face making his eyes look cold and murderous while he shouted at Steve to release him. He knew what Bucky was capable of while he was upset...but it didn't matter at this moment.

"Do I want to know what's going on?"

Steve looked up to see Nat standing there with a sly smirk and her arms crossed in front of her.

"Is Tony still here?"

Nat nodded "He's in his bedroom"

"Wonderful. Let's go"

With that Steve dragged Bucky upstairs and stood him right by Tony's door. 

"I'm going to kill you" Bucky whispered harshly

Steve smiled "No you won't"

Bucky glared "You're testing me"

With that Steve banged on Tony's door. When he didn't get a response fast enough to his liking he swung the door open making Tony yelp in response. 

"What the hell?!" 

Steve shoved Bucky in front of him as he walked up to Tony with a stern expression.

"You two are going to talk and hash this out. If either of you try to leave...well let's just say it won't be a very nice outcome"

With that Steve walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him making both Tony and Bucky jump.

"He's not very good at breaking the ice is he?"

Bucky looked up at Tony and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Guess we better get to talking huh?"

Bucky sighed softly "This wasn't how I wanted this to go. I don't need Steve doing things for me. But it's like talking to a brick wall when I ask him not to"

"You're his friend. Of course he'll always look after you first"

Bucky remained silent as he shifted where he stood by the door.

"About earlier....I apologize. I was ready to hear you...but my mind was someplace else"

Bucky shrugged "It's fine"

Tony walked over to his bed and sat on the edge "I think I'm ready now though"

Bucky let out a shaky breath as he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck nervously "Alright"

The two sat in silence before Bucky finally mustered up the courage to speak.

"I guess the only way to start this is by saying how sorry I am. I never meant in any way shape or form to hurt you or anyone. I wish that I never did half the things I'd done in the past. You know Steve always tells me that I didn't have choice and that it wasn't me...but I own up to my mistakes. I know what I did. Brainwashed or not...I still did those things. When I began to remember...it was both a blessing and a curse. Seeing all those people's face of who I'd hurt...I can't begin to describe what it does to someone"

Tony looked up at Bucky and saw the heartache in his eyes. He was literally crying as he spoke.

"If I'd known that this was how my life was going to be...well I would have rather died when I fell off that train"

Tony sat in silence. Bucky then slowly walked to the bed and sat beside Tony. His eyes teary as he hung his head in shame.

"I know what I did is something unforgivable. If I could erase it all and change what happen I would...but I can't. But believe me when I tell you this Tony. I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul...I'm so so sorry. Whether you forgive me or not is your choice. I just want you to know how I feel"

Tony clenched his jaw. He didn't know whether to punch Bucky in the face or call one of his suits and blast him away.

Bucky hung his head in shame "I think I should just go"

Tony narrowed his eyes as he watched Bucky stand from the edge of Tony's bed. He looked broken. Like a scolded child who had been shamed for not being good enough.

It was then that for some reason Tony's mind went blank and the next thing he knew his hand reached out and grabbed Bucky's metal arm. Tony felt goosebumps form on his arm due to the coldness of Bucky's arm.

"Tony?"

Tony looked up at Bucky with tears in his eyes "I want to be mad at you. Just fucking livid...but I can't. What you did to me...to my parents. Well I should hate you to the core...but I can't. I just...I can't"

"I...I don't understand"

Tony stood from the edge of his bed and locked eyes with Bucky.

"Neither do I"

Then without another word spoke Tony caught Bucky's lips in a powerful kiss. Bucky's eyes shot wide open.

What the hell was happening right now?

*Meanwhile*

"Don't you think we should go check on them" Natasha asked sitting on the couch beside Steve

Steve looked over at Natasha "No. I really think this is something that has to be kept between the two of them. If either on of us is in there or around. Well I think it would just make things escalate. I don't want to be caught in between either of them. Bucky can handle his own and Tony is a grown man"

"If you say so. But if anything happens it's totally all your fault"

Steve looked over at Nat with a playful glare "You're so kind"

"I try not to be"

*Tony's bedroom*

Bucky placed his hand on Tony's chest breaking their kiss.

"Wha...what are you doing?"

Tony licked his lips and locked eyes with Bucky "I really don't know. I just...I just felt like it was needed"

Bucky didn't know what to say and just locked eyes with Tony "I think I should go"

Tony watched as Bucky walked out of his bedroom without another word and shut the door behind him.

*Later On*

Steve looked over at Bucky who sat in the passenger side looking out the window. The city lights catching his eyes beautifully.

"So how did it go?"

Bucky kept his gaze locked on the window and his closed his eyes for a second. Upon closing them the only thing he saw was Tony's closed eyes while he kissed him. 

"Buck?"

Bucky turned to face Steve and smiled weakly "I'd like to think it went okay"


	9. Conversations and Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving the comments, kudos and hits I'm getting  
> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading...you guys rock.

Bucky gasped at the feeling of Steve enter him again. His skin riddled with goosebumps at the feeling of Steve filling him up perfectly. His moans hushed when Steve kissed him deeply. 

"You're so damn beautiful Buck" 

Bucky looked up at Steve with pleasure lidded eyes through the curtain of his brown hair covering his face. Bucky was about to speak until Steve thrust into him deeply making him arch up beautifully.

"Ahh Steve...oh please...fuck"

Steve smirked like a Cheshire cat hearing Bucky's pleas. He had to admit it was quite the ego boost that he had the power to make the once feared winter soldier quiver with ecstasy. The thought alone was making him harder as he thrust into Bucky faster and deeper feeling the very core of him.

"Ohhh Steve...ohhh god...I...I'm gonna" Bucky cried out clutching onto Steve's biceps anxiously awaiting his orgasm

Steve let his large hand wrap around Bucky's hard dick making Bucky cry out. Steve smirked wickedly as he brought his lips to Bucky's ear.

"Don't you dare come"

Bucky gasped "What...Steve...I...ahh"

"Don't you dare. Hold it"

Bucky felt the tears welling up in his eyes from the intense pleasure of Steve bucking into him and his orgasm coming at him like a bullet being fired from a gun. God he needed his release and he needed it desperately. But something about the feeling of have Steve be so demanding was so delicious.

"You'll come when I'm good and ready to let you"

Bucky covered his face with his hands as he could feel the raw burning power pooling at his lower belly. God he was so fucking close.

"OHH STEVE. PLEASE PLEASE....I CAN'T ANYMORE"

It was then that Steve couldn't torture Bucky anymore and thrust into him quickly. The headboard smacking against the wall, the obscene sound of skin on skin echoing in the room. 

"NOW. COME FOR ME BUCK" Steve growled out feeling his orgasm hit him ten-fold as he stiffened and came deep inside Bucky.

Bucky cried out. It was a cry between a mixture of pleasure and pain as he came hard between him and Steve.

Breathing heavily Steve leaned down and kissed Bucky sweetly on his sweaty forehead.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

Steve shrugged shyly "I honestly don't know"

Bucky rolled his eyes as he tried to regain control of his breathing

"But you enjoyed it didn't you?"

Bucky glared "Get off"

Steve chuckled as pulled Bucky into his arms and held him close. Bucky couldn't help but melt into his embrace. Steve was like a big teddy bear sometimes.

"I love you Buck"

Bucky smirked "Ugh...you punk"

*Later on that day*

Steve walked into the kitchen to find Tony already there making his usual cup of coffee.

"Tony"

Tony poured his coffee and replied "Rogers"

Steve grabbed a bottle of water and was about to walk out until his curiosity couldn't help but get the best of him. Turning back to face Tony who was already sitting at the table locked his gaze on him.

"If you don't me asking...what happen between you and..."

Tony cut Steve off by raising his hand while still sipping his coffee. Relishing in the taste Tony smiled and set his mug down before him.

"We talked. That's it. He apologized and I told that I forgive him. I have to...if I don't...I'll never able to my life like I want. My parents won't be able to rest peacefully if I let my anger consume me. On that note...if you want to bring Barnes back. Well he's more than welcome to come stay here again"

Steve had to admit he was a bit taken aback by that. But if it meant having Bucky back and close by he wasn't going to question it.

"Well I'll let him know"

Tony nodded "When he comes back please tell him I would like to speak to him on a rather important matter'

"Umm alright. Listen Tony...thank you. You know that Bucky means alot to me"

Tony looked up at Steve and nodded "Don't get sappy on me. Now go away and let me enjoy my coffee in peace"

Steve chuckled softly and walked out of the kitchen leaving Tony alone.

*Later on that day*

"He said that. I can go back?"

Steve nodded as he sat by Bucky on the edge of the bed. The covers still a mess from their love making this morning.

"Yeah. Look Bucky he forgives you. I know it's surprising but Tony is a good man and a great friend. I mean it's going to take some time for him to come around to you like he does with us...but I believe in given time he will"

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat "Alright. I'll go back"

Steve pulled Bucky into his arms and smiled "I'm glad that everything is better now"

Bucky smiled weakly into Steve's hug. God he hoped this didn't backfire on him. If it did he wouldn't be able to handle it.

*Hours Later*

Bucky walked up the stairs as Steve slept in their shared bedroom. He was told by Steve earlier that Tony wanted to talk to him when he came back but when the got their Tony was out running errands...well errands is the word Natasha chose to use. 

But now it was late at night and Tony just arrived home. So making good on his word to Steve that he would talk to Tony as soon as he came home he was now standing outside his office nervously.

Lifting his hand Bucky knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in"

Bucky inhaled a deep breath and made his way inside Tony's office.

"Umm Steve told me that you wanted to talk to me"

Tony nodded "I did"

Bucky stood there nervously "Well umm what did you need to talk about?"

Tony walked away from his desk and up to Bucky. Standing a few feet away from Bucky, Tony smiled softly.

"Why are you so nervous?"

Bucky shrugged "I don't know. I guess I feel like any minuet now you could lash out and well I'd deserve it"

"I'm not going to lash out at you so relax"

Bucky tried his best to relax as Tony stepped closer now they were basically inches away from each other. 

Tony took his time to study Bucky's features. He was quite breathtaking...no wonder Steve was always fawning over him. Without a second thought Tony reached out and too Bucky's face in his hands. Bucky tensed lightly feeling Tony's warm hands cup his face. They were so soft.

"Tony?"

Tony cocked a brow "I wanted to talk about that kiss. Did you tell Steve?"

Bucky shook his head "No...I couldn't"

"Good. You know I didn't expect to do that"

Bucky shrugged "It's okay"

"But I don't regret it either"

Bucky's eyes grew wide at that statement "What?"

"You heard me"

With that Tony pushed Bucky against the wall and captured his lips once more in a hungry kiss. Bucky kept his hands at his sides as Tony kissed him. Letting his tongue slide against Bucky's lower lip Tony then nipped at it playfully making Bucky gasp.

Slipping his tongue in Tony began to relish of the taste that was Bucky. To his surprise he tasted sweet. Bucky couldn't help but let his small moan escape his mouth as Tony began to deepen the kiss. Tony smirked as he broke the kiss.

"Enjoyed that?"

Bucky didn't say a word and looked away shyly.

"It's okay. You are human you know. I'm pretty sure the way you and Steve go about doing your thing is pretty different"

Bucky's eyes grew wide "I...I don't know what you are..."

Tony chuckled "Relax. And come on you don't think I know. Steve is pretty transparent if you haven't figured that out"

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Want me to kiss you again?"

Bucky locked eyes with Tony. Everything inside him said no. But the desire building and his curious temptation told him just do it...you know you want to.

Bucky opened his mouth and whispered a quick "Yes"

Tony smiled as he pushed Bucky back gently against the wall and kissed him once more. Bucky slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around Tony's waist. Tony couldn't help but groan feeling Bucky's metal arm on him. The kiss became more powerful by the second. 

What the hell was happening? Why was this happening? Did Tony have some agenda on why he was doing this? Then again did Bucky even really care?

Tony began to let his hands crawl under Bucky's shirt and smirked hearing the sharp intake of breath Bucky took when he did so.

"Tony...no...we...we have to stop"

Tony brought his lips to Bucky's ear "No we don't. And I don't think you want to either"

With that Bucky felt Tony's hand cup his aching hard on. What the fuck? He was literally in shock. How was he turned on so bad right now? Gee maybe the thought of getting caught and being with someone other than Steve fueled him on.

"No. You can't do this. It's not right. Steve is...Steve loves you"

Finally taking all his willpower Bucky pushed Tony away. Making Tony whimper in disappointment.

"I'm sorry...but I can't"

Tony watched as Bucky walked out of his office and shut the door behind him. 

Quietly walking back to Steve's room Bucky carefully got back into bed as if to not wake Steve. Steve then sighed happily in his sleep as he wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist.

"Mmm I love you Buck"

Bucky bit his lower lip and shut his eyes.

"I'm such a jerk"


	10. Never Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day Off Update

Bucky bit down on his lip so hard it was enough to draw blood. The metallic taste of his blood lingering on his tongue as he tried his best to keep his composure. How did it get to this? And fuck why did it feel so damn good?

*Before We Get To That...Let's Go Back To Earlier*

Bucky awoke to the feeling of sweet kisses on his neck. Smiling softly Bucky's eyes fluttered open as he turned to his side. Once he turned he was met face to face with Steve who was smiling softly. The adoration in his eyes making his blue eyes glow. Steve reached out and placed a hand on Bucky's cheek moving a strand of hair out of his face with a brush of his thumb.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Bucky smiled softly "Yeah I did"

"It's really good to have you back here Bucky. Listen did you have a bad dream or something last night?"

Bucky gave a puzzled expression "No I didn't. Why?"

"Well because for a quick second I could have sworn you weren't in bed last night"

Bucky swallowed the lump in throat and smiled nervously "I...I didn't have a bad dream. I just..."

Locking eyes with Steve, Bucky recalled his kiss with Tony last night. He wish he could just tell Steve but he couldn't. Last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. He'd done enough of hurting people in the past.

"I got hungry and went downstairs to find something to eat. I'm sorry if I worried you"

Steve chuckled "You should have just told me. I could have joined you so you wouldn't have to be downstairs alone"

"Steve I'm pretty sure I can manage just fine on my own. Don't worry about me so much"

Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky's waist and buried his face in the crook of Bucky's neck inhaling his scent

"I'm sorry Buck. It's just...I'm afraid to lose you again"

Bucky chuckled "You won't. Trust me"

*Few Hours Later*

After everyone awoke Natasha took it upon herself to make breakfast for everyone. Steve and Bucky sat next to each other while they discussed their plans for the day. Steve smiled at Bucky making him blush.

"Eww keep that up and I'll lose my appetite" Natasha joked lifting a glass of juice to her lips

Steve rolled his eyes playfully "Ah you're one of those morning people huh?"

"Ass" 

It was then that Tony made his way into the kitchen "Jesus. How can you people be up so early?"

Steve smiled softly "Good morning to you too Tony"

Tony groaned as his eyes finally landed on Bucky. Beautiful Bucky who sat next to Steve of course. His hair still slightly disheveled, his lips just ready for another kiss as he shifted in his seat. It was like he knew Tony was watching him.

"It's nice to see you back here James"

Bucky looked up and cleared his throat. His heart pounding in his chest hearing the tone of voice Tony was speaking in.

"Tha...Thank you for letting me come back"

Tony smirked as he nodded in response.

*Later On That Day*

"Come on Steve it will be fun. Just a nice night out just me and you...come on" 

Steve groaned "I don't know Natasha. That what you said last time and it didn't end so well"

"Last time we were on a mission and come you have to admit we had fun doing it"

Steve chuckled softly "Alright alright. But...but what about Bucky"

It was then that Steve turned to Bucky who was sitting in the kitchen overhearing the whole conversation.

"It's fine you go out and have fun. Look I told you don't worry about me. Besides it's just me here anyway...can't get into trouble all by myself"

Steve and Natasha looked at each other and shrugged "Well then lets get out of here"

After Steve and Natasha got dressed and left Bucky stayed on the couch watching a movie playing on TV

"Mmm Good Will Hunting. That's a good one"

Bucky felt his heart fall to the pit of his stomach as he turned to find Tony standing behind the couch.

"You don't say"

"Why you disagree?"

Bucky shook his head "No. It's pretty good so far"

Tony looked around "Where's Rogers and Nat?"

"They...they went out"

Tony cocked a brow "And he didn't drag you along?"

"He wanted to but I told him we kinda needed a break from being around each other all the time"

Tony smirked "That I agree with ten-fold"

Bucky glared "I figured you would"

Tony chuckled as he walked over to the front of the couch and sat beside Bucky slowly. Bucky felt his heart racing. To be quiet honest he hated that Tony would make him feel this way...the only other person who made him feel that way was Steve. 

"So I guess it's just you and me tonight"

Bucky let out a shaky breath "I guess so"

Tony scooted closer to Bucky and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. Bucky couldn't help but shiver at the feeling.

"What happen last night was pretty intense huh? Tell me did you enjoy it before you made me stop?"

Bucky inhaled a sharp breath feeling Tony's hand on his thigh. Fuck did that feel nice.

"I...I don't know"

Tony scoffed "You don't know"

"I...I..."

"Be honest with yourself for once"

Bucky shut his eyes tightly feeling Tony's hand on the waistband of his sweatpants.

"Are you going to make me get the truth out of you?"

Bucky opened his eyes only for them to shut once again feeling Tony wrap his hand around his hard dick. 

"Mmm...no" Bucky moaned out shut his eyes letting his head hang. His mouth parted beautifully as Tony began to stroke him.

Tony grinned wickedly seeing Bucky begin to unravel before his eyes just with his touch alone. 

"Ohh...ohh please...stop"

Tony nodded "Tsk tsk. Bucky do you really want me to stop now? I mean I'm just getting started"

Bucky watched as Tony kneeled before him and slowly began to slide his sweatpants down. To Bucky's surprise he helped Tony by lifting his hips to help allow Tony to do so. He had to admit that the sight of Tony on his knees was pretty fucking hot. It made a fire ignite deep within him that he never knew was there. 

"Well look at you soldier" Tony whispered as Bucky's dick standing hard and proud before him. Tony licked his lips and smiled

"I bet you taste delicious"

Bucky gulped loudly and before he could even reply Tony's warm mouth enveloped him perfectly

"Ohh fuck...fuck" 

Tony smirked and began to bob his head up and down slowly feeling the length of Bucky in his mouth. He tasted better than he imagine. Sweet. Looking up at Bucky with pleasure lidded eyes Tony couldn't help but feel an ego boost seeing Bucky with his eyes shut tight and his hands clutching on the edge of the couch to try to help control himself.

Only Tony wanted him to lose that control. He wanted him to forget all inhibitions and throw caution to the wind. It was time Tony upped his game. Hollowing his cheeks Tony began to suck off Bucky hungrily making him arch off the couch and squirm before him. Tony stopped and licked his lips. Locking eyes with Bucky, Tony spoke.

"Tell me has Steve ever done that for you?"

Bucky looked up at Tony with a hungry stare. The stare an animal gives before its about to attack it's prey. 

"That's none of your business" 

Tony smirked "I take that as a no"

With that Tony took Bucky in his mouth once again and began to bob faster. Taking him deeper as he hummed around his hard dick making Bucky emit nothing but cries and whimpers. It was then that Tony felt Bucky's hands in his hair gripping lightly as if not to hurt him.

Bucky bit down on his lip so hard it was enough to draw blood. The metallic taste of his blood lingering on his tongue as he tried his best to keep his composure. How did it get to this? And fuck why did it feel so damn good?

Tony knew he was close feeling his grip become tighter and his dick twitch in his mouth. 

"Fuck...Tony. FUCK!!!" Bucky cried out covering his mouth quickly hoping no one heard him.

And just like that Bucky came undone before Tony. Tony released Bucky's now flaccid dick as he licked his lips swallowing every last drop Bucky gave him.

Bucky fell back to couch in a boneless heap as he rode out his orgasm and tried to register what just happen. 

"Well that was fun now wasn't it"

Bucky was about to speak but he decided words weren't really needed now that they got this far. Without even second guessing it Bucky pulled Tony into a passionate kiss. Tasting himself on Tony's tongue Bucky broke the kiss.

Looking into Tony's eyes Bucky spoke.

"Why are you doing this?"

Tony smiled softly "I don't know. But ever since that talk we had in my room when you first came back I've been having these feelings and I can't control them. You know honestly it's nice to not question everything. Sometimes you should just let things be"

Bucky smiled softly and kissed Tony once more. Who would have ever thought he would be in this position. Especially with Tony of all people.

"I hate to say it but I agree with you"


	11. Stepping Over That Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I can ;)

Steve walked into his bedroom to find Bucky under the sheets fast asleep. He didn't expect to get home so late...but then again he was hanging out with Natasha. She could be out all freaking day.

Slipping out of his shoes and jeans keeping nothing but his tank top and boxers on Steve crawled into bed with Bucky. Wrapping his arms around Bucky he smiled feeling Bucky shift in bed.

"Steve?"

Steve smiled hearing Bucky's tired whimper "Yeah Buck it's me. Sorry I came back so late. Natasha could be out all day and well an old timer like me can't handle it"

Bucky chuckled softly as he sighed in delight feeling Steve place sweet kisses on his neck.

Shutting his eyes Bucky moaned as Steve crawled atop of him letting his hands roam his body. But it was then upon his eyes being shut the image of Tony before his knees sucking him off greedily was the first thing he saw.

Steve was about to place a kiss on Bucky's lip until to Steve's shock Bucky placed his hand on his chest and stopped him.

"Is something wrong?"

Bucky shook his head "Umm...No. It's just I'm really tired Steve...is it okay if we just pass for tonight and just cuddle"

"That's fine Buck. You know I'm kinda tired too"

Bucky smiled nervously "Well then maybe we should just get some sleep"

Steve nodded and returned to his spot beside Bucky pulling him into his arms. Steve kissed Bucky on the forehead as he shut his eyes. Bucky couldn't help but feel bad for rejecting Steve. But what made him feel even worse was that he truly and honestly didn't regret what happen with Tony earlier and it was eating away at him. This had to stop. It couldn't go any further.

*The Next Morning*

Bucky's eyes fluttered open to the sunlight peeking into Steve's bedroom. Opening his eyes Bucky reached out feeling Steve beside him sleeping. Well at least he thought it was Steve.

"Steve"

"God I really hope not"

Bucky turned over quickly and was met with none other than Tony beside him in bed.

"Tony?! What...what are you doing? Where's...where's Steve?"

Tony smiled softly "He and Natasha went out grocery shopping a few minuets ago. Fridge was running low so they offered to go shopping. Steve told me you were still sleeping so I came up here to check on you"

"Okay...thank you"

Bucky was about to get out of bed until Tony reached out for his arms and brought him back down. Bucky landed back on the bed with a yelp as Tony chuckled softly.

"Where are you going?"

"Downstairs to wait for Steve"

Tony groaned "Why? We can just keep each other company up here"

Feeling his breath hitch in his throat Bucky watched as Tony crawled atop of him and settled in between Bucky's legs. Bucky gasped feeling Tony's hardness pressing up against him.

Then with one quick pull Tony pulled off Bucky's boxers and tossed him over his shoulder. Then without saying a word Tony brought his hand to Bucky's mouth. Bucky looked up at Tony nervously.

"Go on now Sargent Barnes...lick those fingers good"

Bucky couldn't help but feel the adrenaline course through him hearing Tony say those words to him. Pressing his fingers onto Bucky's lips, Bucky parted his lips and took Tony's fingers in his mouth. Tony inhaled a sharp breath at the feeling of Bucky's warm moist mouth enveloping his fingers perfectly. Soon Bucky began to swirl his fingers around Tony's finger driving Tony insane with pleasure.

What was it about Bucky that brought this out in him? Did he love him or was it just lust? Whatever it was it was intoxicating and Tony just couldn't stop himself.

It was then Tony removed his fingers from Bucky's mouth with a wet pop

Slowly Tony leaned down and caught Bucky's lips in a sweet kiss. During their kiss Tony let his hand rest on the most private part of Bucky. Bucky could feel his heart jackhammering in his chest. And then Bucky arched feeling Tony slip a finger deep inside him.

"Ohh" Bucky whimpered covering his mouth to suppress any more sounds from escaping. 

Tony noticed this and removed Bucky's hand from his mouth.

"Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. I want to hear you" 

Bucky blushed as he felt Tony moving his finger deep inside him brushing up against that one spot that made Bucky squirm.

"Mmm Tony"

Tony smirked as he continued to torture Bucky until he decided he didn't need to any further. Lowering his sweatpants Tony lined himself at Bucky's inviting entrance. Bucky's eyes shot wide open at feeling Tony pressing up against him.

Reaching out and clutching Tony's bicep Bucky stopped him.

Shaking his head Bucky spoke "Tony...no...I...I can't"

Tony leaned down and whispered in Bucky's ear "Do you want me to stop?"

Bucky gulped feeling Tony's hot breath on his ear. 

"Say yes. Damn it say yes"

Bucky looked up at Tony. Skin flushed and eyes filled with want.

"What's stopping you?"

Bucky looked away "What about Steve?"

"What about you? What about what you want?"

Bucky bit his lower lip and released his grip on Tony's arm. He was right. Yes he loved Steve with all his heart...but sometimes Steve could be a bit much at times. He wanted to have new experiences. He wanted to just be.

Without warning and breaking Bucky from his thoughts Tony pushed into him with one quick thrust.

"Ahh Tony...ohh"

Tony waited for Bucky to adjust to him which he was sure Bucky could handle it being as he was getting screwed by Steve the super soldier every other night. Bucky then gave the signal it was okay for Tony to continue by wrapping his legs around Tony's waist. 

Tony groaned at the feeling letting himself slid in deeper. Bucky felt better than he imagined. 

"Ohh Tony...ohh god yes" Bucky moaned as Tony began to increase his thrust. 

Both were about to share a kiss until that's when they both heard it. 

That all to familiar voice call out.

"Buck"


	12. Well This Is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Bed Update

"Answer him"

Bucky looked up at Tony with surprised eyes. Tony still buried deep inside him.

"You can't be serious"

Tony glared "If you don't he'll just walk right in here. And well how are we going to explain this?"

"You're a jerk"

Tony smirked "But it turns you on doesn't it?"

Bucky flushed and looked away.

"Buck? Are you awake?" Steve called out

Bucky bit his lower lip and cleared his throat "Uh yeah...but I'm about to shower"

It was then that Tony decided to have fun with this situation and once again began to thrust into Bucky deeply and slowly making Bucky moan in response. Looking up at Tony with an evil glare Tony only smirked in response.

"Something the matter?"

Bucky opened his mouth to reply but was hushed by a sharp and quick thrust making him arch off the bed and clutch onto Tony tightly.

"Tony...ahh...please...don't"

Tony grabbed a fistful of Bucky's hair and lifted his head exposing his neck as he placed hungry kisses on his neck "Keep talking to him"

"Buck? Umm can I come in?"

Bucky felt Tony increase his speed and covered his mouth with his hands to muffle his moans. God this was so fucking amazing, fucked up and exciting all at once. Amazing cause the sex was fucking better than anything he had ever experienced. Sure sex with Steve was amazing...but sometimes Steve treated him as if he were glass. He wanted Steve to let go...for fuck's sake he wanted to be manhandled every now and then. Fucked up because Steve was right outside the door while it was all happening. Exciting because knowing he was out there and they could get caught by just him walking in fueled his desire and adrenaline.

Tony thrust into Bucky without mercy and Bucky tried his best to keep composure "Ahh...uhh...no it's...uhh it's alright Steve. I'll be out in a bit okay"

Steve smiled on the other side and nodded "Okay Buck. I'll see you downstairs"

Hearing his footsteps grow further away Tony buried his face in Bucky's neck and thrust into Bucky frantically. His orgasm within arms reach as Bucky's writhed in passion below him. Finally both felt their orgasm hit them like a ton of bricks as Tony collapsed atop of Bucky.

Tony couldn't help but chuckle "Well that was better than I expected"

"Ugh" 

With that Bucky shoved Tony off him and got out of bed. Reaching down he picked up his boxers and sweatpants slipping them on quickly. 

"I can't believe you did that"

Tony cocked a brow "Really? You can't"

"Tony we could have gotten caught"

"I know. It made it so exciting...didn't it?"

Bucky looked away and hung his head. Who was he kidding? Tony was right. He was right and it made him feel awful

Tony walked over to Bucky after slipping his sweatpants up and placed his hands on Bucky's hips.

"You shouldn't hide how you feel. I know you enjoyed it and that's okay. You're human and well you have needs"

Bucky bit his lower lip "Tony...I..."

It was then that Bucky was hushed by Tony's lips on his

"It's okay to want James"

With that Tony walked out of the bedroom leaving Bucky more conflicted than ever. The last thing he ever expected when he woke up was sex with Tony. And great sex at that.

Tony began to make his walk down the hall until he bumped into someone

"Tony? What were you doing in my room?"

Tony inhaled a sharp breath "Umm...I...went to help your pal in there"

"What?"

Tony chuckled nonchalantly "Yeah he didn't really know how to work the buttons to start the shower. So I helped him out. I was just on my way downstairs"

"Oh. I should've have shown him before hand huh"

Tony cocked a brow "Some pal you are"

Steve chuckled "Shut up. Well I'm going to go check on him. See you down there Tony"

Tony nodded and quickly power walked downstairs. Making it down he let out a deep breath.

Steve walked into the bedroom to find Bucky drying his wet hair.

"Steve. I thought I told you I'd see you downstairs"

Steve smiled shyly "I know but I just had to come check on you and well..."

Bucky then watched as Steve walked up to him and pulled Bucky flush into his arms.

"You're so beautiful Buck"

Bucky sighed softly "Thank you Steve"

"I love you"

Bucky bit his lower lip as Steve held him in his arms "I love you too"

It was then Bucky's conscience made his voice clear

"You're scum Barnes"


	13. In Too Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day Off Update.  
> Might update later on again. Have tons of errands to run.

Bucky made his way downstairs and couldn't help but feel goosebumps form on his skin seeing Tony sitting at the table sipping on his usual cup of coffee.

"Figured out to use the shower James"

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as he sat at the table.

"Yes...uhh thank you for helping me"

Tony smiled softly "No problem. Just let me know if you need help figuring anything else out...being as since your pal over can't help you out"

"Aww come on. I'll show him when I have a chance" Steve replied with a embarrassed chuckle

Bucky and Tony locked eyes quickly.

"Thank you Tony...I will"

After breakfast Bucky made his way back upstairs and tried his best to calm his nerves. Breakfast was little to awkward even to his liking. To have Steve the man who loved him more than anything in the world. The man he owned everything in his life to sitting beside him. Then you have Tony. The arrogant, egotistical billionaire who could smooth talk anyone...which Bucky hated to admit he was one of those people. The man who knew what Bucky truly wanted deep down inside. He knew how to make Bucky completely unravel with just one touch.

Bucky let his body fall back onto the bed and shut his eyes letting out a deep breath.

"Hey there beautiful"

Bucky's eyes shot open and locked on a pair of bright beautiful blue eyes. 

"Hi"

Steve pouted "Are you alright? Seem like something is bothering you?"

"Oh I'm fine. I'm just sleeping with you and fucking around with Tony behind your back. Everything is just peachy"

"Buck?"

Bucky shook his head to clear his thoughts and smiled nervously

"I'm fine just tired. I don't know why but I haven't been able to be sleep very well these past few days"

"Really you piece of crap you don't know why?"

Bucky shut his eyes once more and felt Steve place a hand on his face.

"Well maybe you should just relax and take it easy. Try not to think about stuff so much"

"Tell him. Just tell him the truth"

Bucky smiled "I know. I'm sorry I worry you so much. I'm probably driving you crazy by now"

"No you're no. I love you Buck, I'd do anything for you"

"Ugh he just had to say that didn't he"

Bucky smiled weakly "I love you too Steve"

*Later On That Day*

Bucky decided to keep himself busy in the gym since Steve was out on a mission with Natasha. He couldn't get what happen between him and Tony out of his mind. And the words that Steve told him earlier didn't help either. He felt awful about everything...but what made it worse was how great it was to be with Tony. 

"I got to get my shit together" Bucky thought throwing punches at the bag

"You know if you ruin that one...like I told Steve you're paying for it"

Bucky let his hands fall to his side and turned to see Tony standing there with his arms crossed. Dressed in one of his fancy suits he began to make his way towards Bucky. 

"No. You stay there"

Tony stopped and smirked "And why should I stay here?"

Bucky bit his lower lip "Because what's happening between you and me has to stop"

"God you look hot with your hair tied up like that"

Bucky groaned "Are you even listening to me?"

"Ugh yes I am. And you should know by now I don't like to be told what to do"

Bucky exhaled a shaky breath as Tony finally stepped up to Bucky and placed a hand on his waist.

"Tony...please"

"Please what? Come James...you know and I know, what's happening between us you don't want it to end just yet. The fun is barely getting started"

With that Tony caught Bucky's lips with his making Bucky whimper. Son of a bitch could he kiss.

Breaking the kiss Tony placed his hand on Bucky's cheek "You know it's just me and you again"

Bucky blushed "I hate you"

Tony smirked "It's okay. It's not the first time someone's told me that before"

Little did they both know...they weren't alone.


	14. The Back Of Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Bed Update

Both collapsed back onto the gym mat as they tried to regain their breath.

Tony looked up at Bucky who had a small smirk on his face. His body fully sated and sexually spent. He was planning on getting quite the workout...but he just didn't expect it to involve sex on the floor of Tony's gym.

"Well I can say I got my workout for today"

Bucky groaned "You know when you speak you ruin the afterglow of great sex. So just shut up"

"What you and the old lady don't talk after sex? Oh wait Steve's a cuddler isn't he?"

Bucky looked up at Tony and slowly sat up. 

"We have tell him Tony. We can't keep doing this. It's not fair to him"

Tony exhaled a deep breath and crossed his arms "What if I don't want to tell him?"

"You know what keeping secrets does to somebody. It's damaging...trust me...both Steve and I know"

Tony shook his head "I'm not saying anything"

"Why not?"

Tony locked eyes with Bucky and frowned "Because if I do...I'll lose you. Being with you in this way...well it's made me the happiest I've been in a long time"

Bucky had to admit he was quite taken aback with that confession. He never thought in a million years those words would leave Tony's lips. But he also had to admit it meant a lot to him. To be wanted so badly by someone other than Steve...it was a new feeling all together.

"Tony...I..."

Tony bit his lower lip as he looked up at Bucky with the most vulnerable look in his eyes.

"We have to tell him sometime. But I guess for now we can just keep this between us"

Tony smiled softly and gave his best damsel in distress impression "Oh James"

"Oh god. Keep that crap up and I'm telling him"

After they both got dressed Tony made his way out of the gym first and upstairs to his office. Bucky waited a few minuets before walking out of the gym. He was about to make his way upstairs until he heard an all to familiar voice come from behind him.

"I have to admit...I never saw that happening"

Bucky turned around quickly and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Natasha? What...when did you get back? Where's Steve?"

Natasha smiled softly "We got back about 10 minuets ago. Steve is upstairs sleeping it off. He took a little bit of a beating but nothing he couldn't handle"

"Oh well maybe I should go check on him"

"Yeah so that way you can tell him about what just happen between you and Tony. Note to self I'm never sitting on that mat ever again"

Bucky's eyes grew wide "You saw that? You...you saw us?"

"I'm not blind and I'm not dumb. I kinda figured it out. All the sneaking around. You and Tony never being in the same room together along with the rest of us. Steve may be naive but I'm not. Then again Steve trusts everyone and gives them the benefit of doubt"

Bucky hung his head in shame "I never expected this to happen. Please Nat you can't tell him"

"Oh I won't. You will. Or you won't...either way he'll find out. Whether you want it to come from your lips or him finding out the hard way by catching you two in the act is your choice"

With that Natasha walked away leaving Bucky to wallow in his shame and embarrassment.

*Later On That Day*

Bucky walked into Steve's bedroom and smiled softly as Steve slept peacefully. He looked happy even though he was just on a tough mission. 

Crawling into the bed beside Steve, Bucky wrapped Steve's arms around his waist and held him close. His warmth making Bucky feel safe and wanted. Making him feel almost at peace. 

"Mmm Buck...please tell me that's you and not Tony playing a prank on me"

Bucky chuckled "It's me. Do I even want to know about the prank Tony pulled on you?"

"Not really"

Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky a bit tighter and buried his face in his hair. Bucky sighed softly hearing Steve let out a content sigh. Bucky really did mean the world to him and Steve never hid it in any way.

"I love you Steve"

Steve smirked in his sleep "I love you too Buck"

Bucky looked up at Steve and inhaled a deep breath

"Steve...I have something I need to tell you"

Steve's eyes opened slowly as he pulled Bucky close

"What is it Buck?"

Bucky bit his lower lip and shut his eyes. The image of he and Tony kissing and making love not that long ago burned into the back of his mind. But then the look on Tony's face when he professed how he felt about Bucky popped into his head.

"Buck?"

Bucky was broken from his thoughts and looked up at Steve with a soft smile.

"I'm happy you found me. And I'm happy to be here with you now...I don't know what I would do without you"

Steve blushed "Aww Buck...I'm happy that you're happy"

Bucky smiled and cuddled up closer to Steve

"Yeah Steve...I'm happy"


	15. Call Me Selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Work Update

Bucky broke the kiss as he gasped for air. One minuet Bucky was reaching into the fridge for juice and the next he was pressed up against said fridge with Tony's lips on his.

"Are you insane? What are you doing?"

Tony smirked "What? Don't tell me you didn't like it"

"I'm not telling you a damn thing. This...I can't keep doing this. Tony...we have to tell Steve. Either we both do or I will myself"

Tony frowned "And break an old man's heart. How callous of you James?"

"Ugh I hate it when you call me that. My name is Bucky...not sexy or cutie or James. It's just Bucky"

Tony rolled his eyes "It's to early for this. Look I'm not stopping you from telling him"

"Are you kidding me? You practically begged me not to tell him"

Tony sighed "Look I just...I just don't know how to tell him. I mean it's Steve...the guy is wound so tight who knows what he'd do when we tell him"

"Who cares. We'd deserve it anyway"

Tony frowned "Why do you want to tell him now all of a sudden? Yesterday you said you wouldn't"

"Natasha knows Tony"

Tony's eyes grew wide "Come again"

"She saw us in the gym yesterday. She saw all of it. She and Steve had come back from a mission early...only Steve went straight upstairs to sleep"

Tony groaned "Fuck"

"We can't keep doing this. No matter how good it makes us feel"

Tony gave a stern look "Well if she knows, she knows...I'll tell him when I'm good and ready"

"How can you be so selfish?"

Tony glared "You're one to talk. I'm not the one fucking two people"

"Screw you Tony"

"You already have"

Bucky growled in frustration and shoved past Tony. Passing Tony he turned to feel Tony's hand lock grip on his cold metal arm.

"Let me go"

Tony smirked "Why should I?"

"Because I said so"

"I'm shaking"

Bucky glared daggers at him. Egotistical son of a bitch. How the hell he could be so sexy while be the biggest jerk on the planet right now was surprising even to him. 

"You won't do a damn thing James. I know you...you're soft just like Rogers"

Inhaling a deep breath Bucky shoved Tony up against the wall and lifted Tony with ease. Tony gasped in pleasure as he wrapped his legs around Bucky's strong waist.

"I fucking hate you, you know that"

Tony smirked "Well you have a funny way of showing it"

*Later on that day*

After a awkward and somewhat silent dinner Bucky went to his usual place to collect his thoughts. As usual Natasha always found her way there.

"It'd be a lot easier if you just tell him the truth. Trust me you'd sleep a lot better at night"

Bucky sniffled. He was crying. Natasha sighed her heart went out to him.

"I know Natasha. It's just...to hurt Steve like that...I know it would destroy him"

Natasha sat by Bucky "Tell me something Bucky"

"Yeah"

"Do you love Tony?"

Bucky bit his lower lip "I...I don't know. I don't know how to explain it...it's just when I'm with him I feel like I can be me. I feel like I can let go and not worry about being judged. When I'm with Steve...I feel like I have to be the Bucky he wants me to be. The Bucky he grew up with...and I'm not him anymore. He died when he fell off that train. I wish I could be who he wants me to be...but I can't"

"You didn't answer my question though"

Bucky sighed "What question was it?"

"Do you love Tony?"

It was then that it clicked. Fuck...he did. The reason he couldn't tell Steve was he truly didn't want to hurt him...but at the same time he didn't want to lose what he had with Tony. Being with Tony he felt like himself...he felt almost free.

"Fuck"

Natasha chuckled softly "Guess that's answers my question"


	16. Eyes See

Natasha left Bucky to have some time for himself as she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Flipping on the switch she found Tony sitting at the table with bottle of scotch before him and a small empty glass.

"Do I even want to know?"

Tony groaned "I think you already know"

"I do. Look I just finished talking to Bucky. Tony...this is eating away at him. You both can't keep this up. If you love each other...just tell Steve"

Tony scoffed "What makes you think I love him?"

"You are a lot of things Tony...but a liar isn't one of them. I know you never expected this to happen...neither did he. But it happened...but you have to realize you don't have someone else like he does who loves him just as much as you do"

Tony sighed softly "You know...James was the last person I ever...I mean ever thought I would fall in love with. It's just something in the way I see him...well he just wants to be himself and not someone that he's not anymore. He wants to be taken care of but not sheltered. I can hear it in his voice...he just wants to be treated like a human being. He knows Steve means well...but at the same time Steve has been in denial for 70 years"

Natasha was about to open her mouth to speak until she noticed Tony's eyes looked right past her. Turning around there stood Bucky looking like a lost puppy.

"I think I'm going to bed"

Tony nodded "Goodnight"

Natasha smiled softly and walked right out of the kitchen

"Ugh it's like living in a bad soap opera" Natasha mumbled under her breath walking up the stairs

Tony cleared his throat and poured himself another drink "So what did you hear?"

"Enough. She's right Tony...I do think we should tell Steve. I know that we care about each other and what have...well I will never forget it. It's just...I've had enough lies ruin my life"

Tony looked up to hide the tears "Why can't you love me like you love him?"

"I do...why do you think this is so hard. I never expected this...I never expected to feel this way about someone other than Steve. But it happened"

"So why end it? Just to spare his feelings...to keep him happy while you aren't"

Bucky frowned "Steve makes me happy"

"Steve wants you to be someone you're not. He's in denial"

Bucky glared "You don't know anything about him. So please stop talking about him like that"

It was then that Tony growled in frustration and reached out catching Bucky's wrist.

"You deserve happiness too. Sometimes you have to selfish in order to live your life"

Bucky looked away. He hated looking into Tony's eyes. It's like they had the power to look right through him.

Tony reached up with his hand and caressed Bucky's face "I don't want to lose you James"

"Tony...I..."

Tony didn't want to hear another word and captured Bucky's lips in a powerful kiss. Bucky couldn't help but melt into Tony's kiss. It seemed like all of his worries just seemed to disappear at that moment. Well they did until...

"Buck?"

Bucky's eyes shot wide open as he quickly broke the kiss with Tony. 

"Oh my god"

There he stood looking so heartbroken. Not even upset...just heartbroken. The look in his blue eyes as he stood there motionless.

"Steve"

"Buck? What are you doing?"


	17. Promise Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Day Off Update

"Steve...I...I"

Not even waiting for his explanation Steve started to make his way towards Tony. The look in his eyes read anger and betrayal. Before he could even make his way any closer Bucky stood quickly and stood before him placing his metal arm on Steve's strong chest.

"Move Buck"

Bucky looked up at Steve and sighed sadly "No Steve...you can't do this. Look I was going to tell you...before this happened. I'm sorry. I never meant for it get this far"

"It's not your fault Buck"

Bucky gave a confused expression "What?"

"You know that he's still recovering Tony. How could you take advantage of him like that?"

Tony's mouth fell open in shock "Excuse me. Take advantage. James is grown man...I think he knows what he's doing"

"He can still have lapses in judgement Tony. Why do you think I wanted to keep him close by?"

Bucky couldn't believe what he was hearing. Steve was practically referring him to a child. A child who couldn't think for himself so he just went along with whatever someone told him to do. And that pissed him off. 

"Please don't talk about me like I'm not in the room"

Steve locked eyes with Bucky "I'm sorry Buck. It's just...I know you are still healing"

"I'm fine. Stop treating me like a child. Steve I love you...but...I've been sleeping with Tony. Like I said I never meant for it to get that far...but it did. I take full responsibility for what I did"

Steve looked towards Tony "I can't believe you. How could you do this to me"

"Are you kidding me? He's telling the truth and you're being so dense about everything"

It was then that Steve placed his hand on Bucky's metal one and locked eyes with him "Buck"

"Steve"

With that Steve pulled Bucky and made him follow him out of the kitchen leaving Tony sitting there alone in shock. Bucky looked back and gave him a heartbreaking look as Steve all but dragged Bucky behind him and out of the kitchen.

"What the hell just happened?"

Bucky didn't even bother to fight back as Steve pulled him into his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

"Why Buck? Why? I mean don't I make you happy?"

Bucky hung his head in shame "You do. It's me...I'm sorry. I just got caught up and I know I could have stopped it...I just I don't know"

Steve pulled Bucky into his arms and held him close "I don't want to lose you Buck. I love you"

"Oh Steve...I'm so sorry"

Steve looked into Bucky's eyes "I want you to promise me something right here and now Buck"

"Okay"

"Don't let it happen again. Please. Whatever you and Tony had it's over. It's just you and me...okay. Promise me"

Bucky could feel his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He felt awful about the whole situation. How could he be so stupid?

"Buck?"

Bucky sighed softly "Okay Steve. It's over. It's you and me...I promise"

Steve smiled softly and captured Bucky's lips in a passionate kiss.

"I love you Buck"

Bucky tried his best to hold back the tears as Steve hugged him "Me too Steve...me too"


	18. This Is Me: James/ Bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a lot of comments about how some readers don't like Steve or other things regarding Bucky and Tony. My response is this: I chose to portray Bucky and Tony this way. As well as Steve. You see Steve is and can be at times naive. He still sees Bucky as someone who can't possibly do such a thing and refuses to accept it. And I feel in a way that Bucky wishes Steve would see him for who he is now rather than how he used to be. Only Steve refuses to let that happen.
> 
> Tony accepts Bucky for who he is but wants Bucky to feel about him the way he does for Steve. I believe it makes Bucky feel guilt and he doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore...but obviously things aren't working in his favor *le sigh*
> 
> Things will begin to unravel in later chapters. Just bare with me...I'm not perfect at what I'm doing but I try to make it interesting as possible. I write what comes to mind...I never plan what I write or do. Where's the fun it that lol. That's my best explanation on this story so far :)
> 
> But I appreciate all the feedback :)  
> Makes me feels special  
> Okay now I'm done rambling.

Bucky tensed hearing Tony clear his throat behind him as he pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"James"

Bucky turned around and smiled nervously "Tony"

Without saying another Bucky began to make his way out of the kitchen till Tony scoffed.

"That's it. That's all I get? Big Ol' Boss Captain America comes in and puts his foot down and you start acting like you and me never had something going on?"

Bucky sighed softly "I'm not doing this with you Tony. Look...what happen between you and I...it should have never happened. It was rushed and...I got caught in the moment. I cheated on Steve...and I should have never done that. I'm sorry...but we should have stopped before it got as far as it did. I plan on making things right with Steve...and if that means letting what happen between us go...so be it"

Tony narrowed his eyes and began to chuckle softly

"What's so funny?"

Tony smirked "Is that you...or super soldier upstairs talking?"

Bucky rolled his eyes and smiled softly "It's all me Tony. That's all I'm going to say"

Bucky turned once more to make his way out until Tony quickly made his way and stood right in front of him

"Why are you so stubborn? Why do you feel like you owe him everything?"

"And why can't you just listen and let things go"

"Because I guess I'm not as cold hearted as you are"

Bucky glared "I guess not"

With that Bucky shoved past Tony and walked right out of the kitchen. But when Bucky was out of sight he couldn't help but let his emotions somewhat seep through. This couldn't be healthy...he had to find a solution to all this and fast.

Bucky made his way upstairs to find Steve getting dressed for their day out today.

"I guess someone is excited for today being as your up early"

Bucky didn't say a word and just smiled softly

"Where did you go?"

"Umm downstairs...I was thirsty...Tony was in the kitchen with me"

Hearing that comment made Steve stop and let his hands fall to his sides "What did he say?"

"Steve...I really think we should talk about what happen between me and Tony"

Steve let out a deep breath "We already did. There's nothing more to talk about"

"But there is. There's a lot to talk about"

"What difference does it make Buck...I already forgave you. Tony on the other hand...well I don't know. I still feel he took advantage of your vulnerability"

That was it...for some reason something in Bucky just snapped. He never meant for it to happen...but it did.

"Damn it Steve quit talking about me like I'm a child. Quit talking about me like I'm not capable. I knew what I was doing...and I did it alright. I'm not a saint...I'm not perfect. So please stop acting like I am"

Steve frowned "Buck...it's okay"

"No it's not...don't you see I feel awful. But I feel worse because you won't let yourself be angry with me because you feel that it's wrong. Steve...this is who am. The Bucky you want me to be...he isn't coming back. I wish I could be him...but I can't. And I know that's what you want...and I know that's why you try so hard. But I feel every time I do something wrong...I fail you. But I'm only human...and so are you. It's okay to feel Steve...it's okay to be mad. When you bottle it up for so long...it's consuming"

Steve didn't say a word and just clenched his jaw in silence.

"Please say something. Tell me you hate me...tell anything. Don't just stand there"

Letting out a deep breath and giving a stern defiant look Steve spoke

"I'll see you downstairs Buck"

And without saying another word Steve walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Sitting on the edge of the bed Bucky broke into tears.

Maybe being here was a mistake. Maybe everything about him being here and being found was just one big mistake. For all he cared...well he was just better off alone.


	19. Comme Un Fusible Allumé

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Work Update
> 
> *Sorry so short...will update again later*

Bucky tried his best to calm himself as his quite sobs racked his body. He was so distracted by his emotions he didn't even hear the footsteps approaching until he felt a touch on his shoulder and then him kneel before him. The look on his face was one of sympathy and sadness for him.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself James?"

Bucky bit his lower lip and looked away ashamed "Guess I'm a glutton for punishment huh?"

"No. It's just you are trying so hard to make others happy that you are forgetting about yourself. You know like I said...sometimes it's okay to be selfish"

Bucky shook his head "It's never okay to be selfish. Even if it makes you happy...that's happiness done the wrong way"

"What did he say to you" Tony asked standing from his knees and sitting on the bed next to Bucky. 

Bucky had to admit to feel the brush of Tony's skin against his felt lovely. He missed feeling Tony's flesh against his...but alas it could and won't happen again. 

"Nothing. That's just it...he doesn't say anything"

Tony cocked a brow "It's that usually a good thing. I mean who wants to hear Steve ramble 24/7 about back in his day"

"Does everything have to be a joke with you Tony?"

"Only when I feel like the mood is to serious for my liking James"

Bucky groaned and rolled his eyes "Whatever makes you feel better...Anthony"

"Eww...don't do that?"

Bucky chuckled softly as he locked eyes with Tony. There was just something about looking into those eyes that he felt like he could get lost in them forever. 

"I wish I could make you see what I see" Tony whispered lifting his hand slowly to move a stray strand of hair out of Bucky's beautiful face.

Bucky frowned "I'm sorry Tony. Umm I should get going...Steve's waiting for me downstairs"

Tony let out a deep sigh "I wish you would quit trying to run away"

"Excuse me. I'm not running away from anything. I told Steve the truth...you on the other hand would have rather lied as long as possible to keep this going on. I'm not like you Tony...I'm sorry if that disappoints you"

Tony clenched his jaw "That's not what I meant. You keep running away from how you feel. It's insane...also a little grating"

"And how do I feel Tony? Being as you know so much"

Tony scoffed "Oh I'm not saying anything. You know how you feel"

"You want me to tell you I love you. It's that what you want. I've told you that I do...but I'd be lying if I said I'm in love with you"

Tony chuckled "Now you are just lying to yourself to make you feel less guilty about loving someone other than Steve. I honestly feel that you stay with Steve because of him spending so long to find you, I believe you love Steve because you feel sorry about not being able to be the person you were before and you know that kills him so you try harder. But now you realize that you can't anymore. Now you realize that you can love someone besides Steve and it's eating away at you"

"You don't know a damn thing about me. Being with you...should have never happened. And it kills you that I think that...you aren't always right Tony. It's called humility...you should try it sometime"

With that Bucky grabbed his coat and walked out the door shutting it behind him. Tony groaned as he walked to Steve's bedroom window as he watched Bucky get into Steve's car and Steve pulled out of the driveway and driving out of Tony's sight.

"Ugh I should start looking into people who are my own age. Older men are so overrated"


	20. Seeping Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small update before work :))  
> I know it's quite short...but I will make it up later on :)

Steve and Bucky drove around in silence. Bucky's gaze locked on the passenger window as shut his eyes. Opening them he looked over and caught sight of Steve. His beautiful Steve who would give him the world...if he could. The only man in the world who went through hell and back for him for so many years. The man who's heart he broke.

"Steve. Can we talk...please?"

Steve clenched his jaw and without another word quickly pulled over into a nearby park and shut off the car.

The silence between the two almost maddening.

"How could you do this to me Buck? I thought you loved me. I thought you said I was all you ever needed"

Bucky could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he heard the breaking sadness in Steve's voice. The shakiness as if he was about to break into tears any minuet.

"I'm so sorry Steve. I do love you...I love you with everything in me. I don't know this hold that Tony has over me...but when I was with him...I felt like I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't. And with you...god I love you...but you're in love with a memory"

Steve exhaled a deep breath "What?"

"Steve...I know you believe in your of heart of hearts that I'll be the same Bucky you fell in love with back then. And god I wish I was...but I'm not and I can't be. I've been racking my brain and trying so hard to remember everything and to be who you want me be...but I just seem to fail every time I've tried. I love you because you believed in me when no one else would. You believed in this broken soul that I could be normal again...and for that I will always be grateful. I just wish...I just wish you could learn to love me and not who I used to be"

Steve looked up and locked eyes with Bucky.

"It still doesn't make what you did right. I would never do that to you...but being as I love you and care for you so much I can't you or be angry at you. I just wish...I wish you would have thought about me and how it make me feel. As far as Tony goes...well I can't hate him either. It will take a while for me to trust him like I used to but...I care about the jerk too"

Bucky hung his head "I should have never come back. As far as I'm concerned I was better off alone. Didn't hurt many people when I was alone"

"No one wants to be alone Buck."

Bucky chuckled softly "I know...but I'm one of those people who is better off. I never meant to come between you and Tony...again"

"Then choose"

Bucky looked up at Steve in confusion "What?"

"I said then choose. Me...or Tony?"


End file.
